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Categories :: Get Real


Work or Motherhood?

By Sangeeta Nadarajan

Work Vs. Motherhood
Work Vs. Motherhood
“Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life,” and so goes a humorous quote. However beneath the humour lies a certain amount of truth that most working mothers would agree on.

A constant struggle between juggling the two roles - working and motherhood has not only recently been headlining the news but also something that probably every working mother would have on her mind at one point or another. A recent survey by Friso milk powder polled women who are working mothers, on what they desired most and the answer that came up was for husbands to pitch in more. Such a want is certainly not unreasonable.

Gone are the days when a child is supposed to be nurtured by maternal love, maternal guidance and basically everything and anything that is associated with the maternal parent. The importance of strongly-involved male parenting is greatly underestimated by the men themselves. Classes, books and forums are readily available for men to begin their influential journey into parenthood.

TheAsianparent caught up with Cheryl Liew-Chng, a human resource consultant. “Young dads are learning and gaining more exposure, taking steps towards the right direction in parenting,” says Ms. Liew-Chng, a mother of three young boys, who seems positive on the role of fathers today. However to keep this positivism afloat among fathers, companies too need to do their part by allowing a suitable amount of paternity leave. Fathers should also be allowed a certain amount of leave that can be taken in times of family emergencies.


Birth rates are falling

For 20 years Singapore has been attempting to increase birth rates. The gradual decline is starting to raise an alarm through out the island as the percentage for needed for the population to replace itself is hitting a new low annually. More working mothers are stopping with just one child due to shortage of time, exhaustion and corporations that these mothers are employed in which discourage the birth of more children with the lack of friendly child policies.

Seeing parenting as a joy rather than a chore

In Singapore, with hectic schedules, most parents leave parenting to grandparents, caretakers, etc. However society and parents can improve such a situation. According to Ms. Liew-Chng, parenting should be made enjoyable. Holding a full time job does not necessarily mean kissing parenting time goodbye. It simply means that more care should be taken into allocating time for spending time with the child. Society, too, can make it more conducive by perhaps organising more events that family can be part of.

A silver lining through all these problems would be mothers being self-employed. On this note of self-employment, Ms. Liew-Chng has only this advice for mothers, “Be positive about what you choose to do or are doing. The best way to stay motivated is to remain positive and a strong passionate view about what you choose to do. Take obstacles that arise as a challenge and learn and grow from them.”


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Comments:

Posted by on zikir 2008-08-26 00:10:41

Handling a child is like working for 3 jobs ... so tough.I rather work


Posted by on www.allthingspurple.blogspot.com 2008-08-26 12:01:17

True, minding a child at home is a lot more taxing than conducting a full day trial in court. It would be easier to be a working mom than to be a stay at home mom.

Even minding a child AFTER working hours is less taxing than minding a child 24 hours 365 days a year.

SAHM are admirable !!


Posted by on rowena 2008-08-26 17:03:39

Four months maternity leave? lol...i rather have three, but pay me double salary for the fourth month. kekekeke


Posted by on chris 2008-08-26 18:24:49

yes, being a SAHM is tough.. I lost 8 kg in the first year of being a SAHM.. really slimming effect.


Posted by on Timelezz 2008-08-26 23:15:23

I would give up any job at all to stay at home and take care of my little angel :) I think its TOTALLY worth it.. 365 days a week!


Posted by on Angela 2008-08-28 02:03:08

I'm a little disappointed that this author didn't dive into the subject that a father needs to help out a little more. I'm kinda wondering how to get my guy to get up in the morning to help me with our toddler. When you're a working mom, you need a couple extra hands in the morning just to do your hair or look presentable. Usually one thing or another is sacrificed for the good of getting out the door in the morning. Either the boy is dressed and I have wet hair and a mismatched outfit, or I am looking like a supermodel, but the baby only has one shoe on.

I'd like to also hear a little more about our challenges. Of course we have to learn and grow from them...I think that was kindof a stupid thing to say, like we don't know how to walk, or breath, or fart...learning and growing from our experiences is all we know how to do as parent. What about our worries that when we drop off our kids with a caretaker, that we're missing out on the obvious, "raising them". And how do you make parenting fun when you're with them all day with no breaks, and nothing else to talk to other adults about at a grown up function?

In my opinion, this article simply dotted it's t's and crossed it's i's on simple plain points. I just think maybe next time you should explain where these resources are...1.How to get dad's more time off to spend with kids? 2. Where do I sign my guy up for a class on how to participate more?

Maybe I'm just sounding bitter, but the lack of sleep is keeping me from good health. My back is killing me so all I wanna do is sit & chill out to read a comforting article about how to make my life better. But thanks anyway for the observation that all is going to hell. I guess I'll have to look at this too as a learning experience that I can grow from.


Posted by on Sangeetha 2008-11-21 11:58:53

Hi Angela,

Thanks for the suggestions.They're great ideas to begin the next article.




04/01/2009
Dear Readers,

I hope that everyone is off to a successful start to the new year. As we look back at 2008, we present to you a list of our favorite articles, by category:

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Most Controversial: The Joy of Placenta, Bon Apetit

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